Dog-Speak

Well, it's almost mid-week. I have another five days of working before a day off. Tonight, I'm pretty tired, but I've been thinking about what I could write in this post on and off all day. So, tired as I might be, here's my take on conversation in the veterinary clinic. The next time you're at your vet, see if I'm right.

There are many occasions while working with our four-legged patients that for one reason or another, we end up talking to them. Sometimes, it's just to make the client feel that we're bonding with their pet. We'll say things like "Aren't you a good girl?" or "Awwh, you don't feel so good, do you Fluffy?" or "Okay, kiddo up on the table you go." Any one of these variations works as long as the patient is of a kind and agreeable temperment.

There are other times when we're trying to reassure the pet to protect our own safety. A lot of times, we'll see dogs or cats (even worse) who are really apprehensive about having their nails trimmed or having blood drawn - really anything that involves a sharp utensil of any kind and losing any part or product of their body. Then, the conversation changes to statements of affirmation like "You're such a brave boy," or "Be tough, munchkin," or "Just a few more minutes/It's almost over." Of course, in reality, it's usually not almost over.

There are other times when we've just been involved with a particuarly challenging case, and sometimes, things simply do not go well for the pet. Sometimes these cases involve patients that will fight tooth and nail, no matter how sick they are, to avoid any kind of veterinary care. Fighting tooth and nail also usually means that those teeth and claws end up in the flesh of either the veterinarian, the technical staff, the client or more than one of the above. In those cases where euthanasia ends up being the only solution, some of those pets will get a couple words of wisdom before passing on. "You're going to die, Satan-dog," "Feel the pink juice demon-kitty." The key here is to use the most soothing and sweet voice possible, even when delivering the news of impending death to the pet.

Least you think I'm not sympathetic, I truly am sorry for the loss of the pet, but I'm also sorry that my arm, hand, face, neck, chest, or whatever other body part that has been mangled by the pet is bleeding and causing me pain. And in cases where the pet is sick, dying, and really hasn't caused anyone in the clinic pain, I truly do apologize to the patient, and say something like "I"m sorry, but trust me this is for the best."

Today, I found myself talking quite a bit to the two kittens hanging out in the boarding area of the clinic. Apparently, they came in as strays about a week ago. The kittens are probably about 4 weeks old - a calico female and a white/black male. They are excellent cage climbers, squirreling their way to the top of the cage door, one paw after the other, and then, as if some hand from above is pushing them down, falling the two feet or so back to the bottom of the cage. It's kind of humorous, actually. I thought, though, that they might be getting annoyed with the "thud" that happens at the bottom of the cage. So, I piled in some old blue towels in the cage underneath about where they keep landing. At least now they have a somewhat padded landing area. The little white and black male also likes to sit on my shoulder. As an adult, he probably won't be able to sit on his owner's shoulder, but for today, he seemed to enjoy the view from my five foot, eight inch height.

If you're looking for a kitten - two are available! I wish I had a phone on my cell phone. I would have snapped up a couple pictures of the two playing, and posted those here. Email me if you want to give either kitten a home!

But back to the idea of conversation - no matter what is said to the pets that I encounter every day, the question remains, do they understand? Sure studies have been done about some dogs knowing upwards of 200 words, but do they know the right words that might be used by people at the vet clinic? Do we really talk to them for their own good - or is it our own sanity? Sometimes, I think they do understand, as they will seem to calm down when we've talked to them and reassured them that it will be okay. Other times, I think they totally do not listen, as they don't calm down at all. And sometimes, if I didn't talk to the patients, there'd be no conversation at all, even if it is one-sided conversation.

In other news, I'm thinking about some major life changes...not a change of profession, though, just in case, for whatever oddball, off-the-wall reason anyone would think that I had a change of heart after seven years of school a huge student loan debt. Just a change of scenery again. As details are worked out, if they are worked out, of course, I'll certainly write about it.

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